Self-advocacy can feel uncomfortable, especially in a profession where we’re constantly asked to put students first and make do with less.

Maybe you’ve wanted to ask your admin for more planning time, but you worried you’d come across as difficult.

Maybe you’ve been hesitant to push back in a team meeting when you disagreed with a decision.

Maybe you’ve had ideas that could really help your school, but you weren’t sure how to bring them up without seeming like you were rocking the boat.

In this week’s episode of Truth for Teachers, I sat down with Neelu Kaur to discuss her unique expertise in this area. With a business degree and a masters in Social & Organizational Psychology along with her experience as a coach and master practitioner certified in NeuroLinguistic Programming, Yoga, and Ayurveda, Neelu has a really unique and comprehensive framework for tackling this topic.

Neelu understand what self-advocacy looks like—especially for those of us who avoid conflict:

Here are 4 key takeaways that might shift the way you think about speaking up for yourself.

1. Self-advocacy isn’t selfish--it's creating a path for others.

One of the biggest mindset shifts we discussed is that advocating for yourself isn’t just about you. It’s about modeling for others—your students, your colleagues, the next generation of teachers.

If you’re a woman in education, or if you come from a background where you were taught to not draw attention to yourself, it can feel uncomfortable to ask for what you need. But when you do, you’re creating a path for others to follow.

When students see a teacher respectfully ask for support, push for better working conditions, or stand firm in their expertise, they learn that they, too, can advocate for themselves.

2. Don't let the fear of being "difficult" hold you back.

A lot of teachers don’t advocate for themselves because they don’t want to be labeled as “difficult.” There’s this ingrained fear—especially among women and people of color—that if we speak up, we’ll be seen as demanding or uncooperative.

And, as Neelu shares, in many Asian, Latin, African, and Middle Eastern communities, group harmony often takes precedence over individual expression. This can make speaking up feel like you’re breaking an unspoken rule.

But thriving in an individualistic culture, like in the U.S., means learning to balance being a part of the group with also standing apart from it to highlight your contributions.

You can be direct and assertive without being confrontational. The key is to come with solutions, not just problems.

Instead of saying, "I don’t have enough planning time, and it’s making my job impossible," you can say:

"I’ve been struggling to get all my lesson planning done because of frequent schedule changes. Would it be possible to adjust things so I can have a dedicated work block? One idea I had was using staff meeting time for this once a month. Would that be an option?"

This approach keeps the conversation constructive and makes it easier for admin to say yes.

3. Self-advocacy starts with small, everyday choices.

If standing up for yourself at work feels daunting, start in low-stakes situations. For example:

• If your colleagues always choose where to order lunch from, speak up and suggest a place you like.
• If a friend asks for a favor you don’t have the bandwidth for, practice saying, “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
• If a decision is being made in a meeting and you disagree, try using the "Yes, and..." technique. "Yes, I see how that could work, and I’d also love to explore this other option."

These little acts of self-advocacy build confidence. The more you flex that muscle, the easier it becomes when the stakes are higher.

4. You aren't responsible for other people's reactions, only your own commitment to self-advocacy.

One of my favorite parts of this conversation was about non-attachment—learning to let go of the outcome once you’ve spoken up.

You can advocate for yourself in a way that is thoughtful, professional, and well-reasoned… and people still might say no. That’s not a failure on your part.

Instead of seeing it as a rejection, see it as part of the process. Every time you make your needs known, you are reinforcing that you deserve to be heard.

And remember, some changes take time. Maybe your request won’t be approved today—but now you’ve planted the seed, and you can follow up later.

Self-advocacy is not a personality trait; it's a skill you can learn.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for support, to push for something you need, or to voice your ideas, this episode is for you. Self-advocacy is a skill—one that we can all practice and improve.

And the best part? When you start advocating for yourself, you empower others to do the same.

I’d love to hear—what’s one small way you plan to practice self-advocacy this week? Hit reply and let me know.

Enjoy!

Angela

Angela Watson Stay connected on social media: ​​​​​​

P.O. Box 175, Bushkill, PA 18324
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